Cutey is 17

true story (in fact, I'm over 17! )

and well, I love love


And sometimes I also enjoy suggestive themes
take Good With Grenades

They're a band

and they're very sexual

but I LOVE IT

hahahaha

like they're song the heat

or Bruises and bite marks

you should check it out

they're addicting

LORD

hahahaha! where have I been all along? Who knows, I mean really?

Oh, um, well I do.

But time to get serious here.

I've been through treatment recently. And, well, currently.

For eating disorders

yep, all three
(anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and compulsive over eating)

mainly bulimia, because that has taken over my life
it's a sad sad spiral of events in which I fell but I was supported by the ones who loved me most

It's still a struggle, I'm not gonna lie. Some days are better than others.

Oh, and did I mention I had knee surgery too?

Yeah, um, I was sneaking out of my house with a boy at night(bad idea! Don't do it!)
I fell and hurt my knee
reaaaaaaally badly


I had to get a bone graft-all the works! dead body cadaver bone and all! ewwww!
So poor little cutey has been tired and healing all this time! physically emotionally-just all around!

phew

but I feel a change of heart

I accept my daily struggles and overall I am sooo much happier
(but that doesn't mean it's easy)

I'm doing very well in school! I enjoy all my higher level classes (but they're tough!)

and I'm taking some art classes too! they're so much fun!

what's not funhysical therapy. But hey, I think God gave me a little hint. Like, uh, don't sneek out of your house!

oh my...
what more can I say?
boys are silly! so far all the Brian's I have met in my life are
a) in their 20's
b) like like me
c) they are mean-ish

yeah, Brian # 1(was 19 at the time) tried dating him. he wanted to marry me after about 2 weeks (too short to know someone!)

BUT he gave me this wicked awesome ring with my birthstone and two diamonds (retail 150$$)
and he didn't want it back, said it was too late to send it back and didn't want to waste his time pawning it
fair enough

Brian # 2 is currently TWENTY NINE but I am not attracted to him (I was to Brian 1). He works for the government or something, I wasn't really listening. He's my older sis's friend, so he sees me when he chills around here. He says age doesn't matter blah blah

UM it does when you're that much older!

pshhhh

I'm going stag ladies, all the single ladies, put your hands up!

hahahaha boys are silly, I love being on the single scene. flirting is carefree and I don't have to worry about commitment-I can just chill and have fun without the drama

are you sick of my life saga?

my bad

cutey loves you!

It's true.
I'm recovering.
I'm pretty sure I haven't kept anybody on DA updated
there's a reason.

it's painful.

I've been suffering with eating disorders for over ten years now, I've had relapses and body dis morphia since ever I could remember

But these past two years has been hard on my body
I secretly dealt with anorexia nervosa
until my parents found out. I recovered and moved on with my life

Then September 2008 hit me hard. I became bulemic. I won't go into the details here (but I will in some deviations).
but it has been tearing me apart
I'm seeing a woman about it
and everyday is a new struggle
I'm in the middle of my recovery

I've learned a lot of things, dealing with my eating disorders
I've realized who my true friends are
I'm starting to learn what the truth about myself is
I'm learning everyday
and everyday I hope I'm closer to recovery

this is for me <3

lots of love

cutey

Wow! Thank you everyone for your comments and favorites of my deviation "Eating Disorder".
I never expected it to be this popular! But nonetheless, I'm glad so many people enjoy it. I have heard a lot of inspirational things from those of you that read it, and I'm glad that it's having a positive impact on those of us struggling with it.
Remember that its a constant battle, but we're strong enough to beat it!

And for those of you whom have not experienced such things, I'm glad to have shed some light on the subject for you.
Try not to be angered at those who are living with eating disorders
It's very hurtful to them
Because remember, we hate ourselves enough, and if you just throw in your little tidbits of "shut the fuck up and go eat a sandwich" well, that just increases our lowly feelings.
It's more than "eating a sandwich" it IS a psycological disorder, though it may seem simple to treat, it truly isn't. Would you shout to someone with schizophrenia "Quit bitching-just STOP SEEING THE FACES"
point made
but I'm not trying to be pious
or demanding
I just requeast a very large amount
patience from those of you who don't suffer <3

okay, I'm happy to have that off of my chest woo


Love!

Title explains it all...kinda.

I had a nice evening tonight, we celebrated my 16th birthday and I had changed into comfy pajamas: an oversized shirt and sweats. was feeling pretty good, watched a movie with the family, a little family guy, and my older brother sent me to bed. I was tired and ready to sleep like a princess when I saw something that shouldn't have been on my floor. It was long and grey. Yep. Silverfish. But just to investigate my presumption, I poked the creature with a marker and it booked it like the last exile!

So of course, being the foolish girl that I am, I called my older brother with my trusty cell phone. He wouldn't come to my rescue like previous nights, saying that "I'm tired...and a spider maybe, but silverfish no". And during this whole debate the...bug continued moving around, freaking me out even more. I got a shoe and prepared myself mentally and physically to strike-a difficult task for a girl like me.

So I hit it. Did it die? No. This one was a fighter. It ran off and by then I was way too distraught to strike again. I called my brother, but still he wouldn't come. I could hear my mother's voice approaching my room-she had heard me yelp when the determined little feller darted away from my killer shoe. Being the wonderful woman that my mother is, she vanquished the small terror to leave me in my horrified state.

I'm a faithful person. I like faith-it's comfy and to me feels right. That being said I believe that all creatures are of God's creation, personally. And so it is a bitterly ironic thing that I would want bugs and spiders to die. I know that they are simply living, surviving, like the rest of us; and just because I don't understand them and think they're ugly and scary, that doesn't give me the right to take (request actually)the creature's life. But I'm human, so, for my happiness and mental stability, the critters gotta go.

So I'll confess to you one last thing. They terrify me, as they do every other girl. But I have yet to meet or see a girl they terrify as much as me. This is the second night in a row a bug has been in the vicinity of my bed, not including the massive spider in my shower this week. I am upset, can't sleep. I actually cried a little. (But hell, I cry too much anyway ) I just imagine the little things crawling or biting me....or laying eggs so more can crawl or bite...or stepping on them barefoot or running allover my body and in my hair and...!!!! D:



Long journal? Yeah, I can't sleep. There's also a ton of other stuff going on lately -but I won't get into that-figured that I'd just keep it fluffy and in the abnormally normal range of fluff.

I'm going to try sleeping now....

I hope those bed bugs don't bite!